Dusty Death

Hey hello assalamualaikum.


I havent updated anything for the almost past 2 months. Apologies for that. Oh as for you Hafizah, I am a hundred thousand times sorry for making you waited for ages! Truly, deeply sorry.


God knows how busy I was for the past few months. I guess that's why I left my blog for quite a while. I only had the time expressing myself through Tumblr. Facebook is getting boring. I have been thinking of deactivating my account but since I know people will ask why, I dont seem to do so. 


So it is 1.08 am and well today is technically, Saturday. Ha. I know I am supposed to sleep. I just could not though. I mourned for like a few times today and I have no idea why did that happen. Whatever. Now here we go again. The pathetic side of me seems to conquer.


My gerak gempur was so-so. There is something that bothers me a lot these days. Overconfidence. I know this might sound nuts but it kills. Really. I was expecting an A for history trial paper but it turned out not to be. My PMR is less than 40 days to go and I still havent conquered all my syllabuses yet. I am sooo going to die!


I have been doing a lot of study. Almost everyday. I even pushed away my wants and sometimes even my needs just to open my book and revise. However, my results proved that I need tonnes of work to do. If not, I will only get not more than an A, which is for English. 




If THAT confession didnt hit you, lets try this one. Okay, lets say you really like someone. Sooner you realize you dont just like him. You love him. Everything was fine. Things were going on great between both of you. You thought he would feel the same way. Yet you were unsure. Until you found out he did not. How pathetic. Now you see how overconfidence and taking someone granted kills you? *no, this aint me


Now as for me, I realized people change. With or without them realizing themselves. A fortnight ago they will treat you so gentle, so fairytale or some shit. They make you feel like you are high as if you can slide down the rainbow, high enough to reach twinkling little stars. A week ago they treat you nicely. They care. They gave you that sweet talk. And you were like, "auwww". However, today, without knowing anything wrong with you, you know something is not right. And they are not there, like they used to be.


I no longer have trust in people. Everybody seems so fake. They will only be nice to you when you are on the top of the list and they will leave you when you are at the lowest point on Earth. Everytime I am giving my trust, they will easily destroy it. I am sick and tired of being too easy on everyone. I just have had enough. So dont ask me why I didnt response to some of you. So sick of you big fat miserable liars. 


For now, I will face everything. Whatever will be, will be. Insyaallah, I'll find my way.