Last night, I attend my tuition. My brain didnt absorb much since I sat beside Akem. I DIDNT FLIRT HIM, OKAY? He's Aina's boyfriend and he's a good friend of mine. He asked me to sit beside him. We talked. He talked much about himself. Im glad.
Since I missed my maghrib prayers, I did my evening prayer along with maghrib prayer after tuition. It was not my intention to leave my prayer. I have my own reasons. Okay whatever, who cares.
So Adip, a thoughtful friend of mine, was texting me. Blahblahblah. He asked me to perform solat hajat. And I really did it. For the first time ever. Alone. Remembering God. Communicate with Him. Meditation. After all those things, I dont know why, I weeped. I was so, so aggrieved.
I know Im not a good person. I always make mistakes. I asked God for his forgiveness, for He is Forgiving. Im still seeking for the right path. Im so confused. Im falling apart but Im not losing my hope. 'Cause I believe Allah is always by my side. Insya' Allah, I'll find my way.
This morning, I woke up for the dawn prayer. Before taking the ablution, I looked into the mirror and my eyes were puffy, covered in black. I didnt wear makeup last night and I believe I was weeping so bad to sleep. After the dawn prayer, I slept.
Woke up again. With dreams still in my mind. Two most significant guys to me were in it. One was mean, I should've known he wasnt made for me. Another one was having fu with me. We wre acting in a play at school. Outdoor. At night. How cute. I wish it was reality. Haha, silly me.
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