24 July 2013

I despise this feeling. This emptiness. It sucks to know that you suck in your studies and there seems to be nothing to do about it. You just sit there in class, doing nothing while everyone else is struggling to answer those questions. The questions that you know you’re not capable to answer. The questions that you don’t even feel like looking at. Because it makes you feel bad about yourself. And as soon as the class is over, you’d just lay your head on the desk, feeling so devastated. And you try so hard not to weep, but you can’t help yourself. Because there’s nothing else you can do at the moment. And you just wanna go back home and sleep. You think you’re gonna feel better as soon as you wake up but no. Your motivation. It’s still not there. No matter how aware you are of that you need to study, if the motivation or mood is not there, then it would be a waste of time. You’d end up lying on the bed and doze off and when you wake up, it’s your sleep time. Once again you realize that you have wasted time. Then again you know there’s nothing you can do about it at the moment. It takes a little time to put yourself together again.